First; a moment please to recognize that there was actually a stream for the ESEA-8 finals. Kudos. So much for the notion that everyone who wants to watch is going to pile on the HLTV, eh?

Now that we’ve taken care of that, let’s take a look at who got what at the conclusion of this season, taking into consideration a estimate (and a conservative one I think) of $1000 to get a team of six down to Dallas for a weekend.

Top money list for the past season, less estimated costs to attend a LAN:

  • Check-Six Gaming net $1500
  • iDemise $780
  • Avoided $600
  • New Directions$330
  • Pinball Wizards$270
  • Area 51 Gaming $240
  • Kawaii Kings $210
  • Six Guys Off $150
  • We Hit Women $120
  • eMazing Gaming net $100
  • Complexity net (-$130)
  • Blight net (-$250)

Hmmm…and we wonder why Complexity dropped their TF2 team like it’s hot at the end of the season.

Did that list look a bit…odd? It should. Here’s the complete ranking of TF2 at the end of the season, divisions stacked on top of each other, so that the Intermediate winner places 9th and the Open winner places 25th overall:

  • Check-Six Gaming net $1500 ($2520 - 1000)
  • eMazing Gaming net $100 ($1100 - 1000)
  • Complexity net -$130 ($870 - 1000)
  • Blight net -$250 ($750 - 1000)
  • coming soon $0
  • Blast $0
  • SpaceDucks $0
  • Apoplexy Industries $0
  • iDemise ** $780
  • New Directions $330
  • Area 51 Gaming $240
  • Six Guys Off $150
  • JuanKush420 $0 (keep it klassy TF2)
  • 98 Percent $0
  • The Spacewhales $0
  • 20 Minute Toast $0
  • RedFlag $0
  • The Spacebots $0
  • Bisexual Bubble Bath $0 (do I really need the google keyword traffic from that? Yes, yes I do.)
  • fuck you skeez $0
  • Awareness Zero $0
  • Mediocre at Best $0
  • Incestual Princesses $0
  • Treason $0
  • Avoided $600
  • Pinball Wizards $270
  • Kawaii Kings $210
  • We Hit Women $120
  • and below - $0

That’s right, it’s entirely likely that everyone that went to the LAN, save for the champions, lost money on the weekend.

That’s right, the most lucrative spots in the entire season, save for the Invite champ, were found by hitting the podium in Intermediate.

That’s right, it was better to place fifth overall than third. Or thirteenth overall than third. Or just about anywhere except for third or fourth.

And this makes sense?

Then there’s comments like these on the thread outlining the prize outlays for ESEA-8, which make me weep for the state of public education:

good prize pot but idk y u guys include 7th or 8th place… make all the divisions top 5 or top 6… so every1 gets better money. I agree and think the payouts should be TOP 5 only. 6TH 7TH AND 8TH aren’t anything special. why is it the top6 get money? should be top3/top4. agree. Make those teams work for the dolla

Here’s the point where you probably ask, “hey smartass, let’s see your bright idea, eh?” Next post.